X-men, X2, X3, Wolverine Origins, X-men: First Class, The Wolverine, X-men: Days of Future Past, (Deadpool?)

X-men: Apocalypse is a movie that depends a lot on how much you enjoy the X-men movies.  If you enjoy watching people on tiny sets backed up by huge CGI action set pieces, it’s a decent movie, that tells a pretty fun little story.  Oscar Issac (Poe Dameron), Tye Sheridan (Cyclops, non-Marsden division), Sophie Turner (Sansa Stark/Not Famke Janssen), Kodi Smit-McPhee (Nightcrawler, non-Gyllenhall/Cummings division) and Alexandra Shipp (Storm) all do decent work with very little screen time.  Also, the return of Quicksilver is exactly as overpowered as you thought he was last time, and he is once again the second best part of the movie.

Michael Fassbender is the heart and soul of the movie as Magneto.  Fassbender is living a daily life in Poland, behind the Iron Curtain, with a wife and kid.  If you know anything about plots, you know what is coming: a huge tragedy and Magneto going on a murder rampage.  Thank God.  As an aside, can someone point me to a movie that Fassbender doesn’t elevate?  He was the best part of Prometheus, the previous two X-men movies (including the one where he played the same character as Ian “Effing” McKellen), he was incredibly charming in Inglorious Basterds.  Also, he’s the name of Donna Meagle’s car, which only scores points.

If you’ve ever seen an X-men movie, you’ll know the story.  A power hungry person is attempting to control and/or destroy the world.  The X-men have to come together to stop them.  Apocalypse is decently played by Oscar Issac, who projects power and recruits four horsemen to accompany him in taking over the world.  As usual, Charles is drawn into the plot due to his ability to use Cerebro to connect all the people in the world.  Apocalypse leverages his ability to communicate with everyone to spread his message and completely disarm the world.  Then we have a big action scene at the end.

I am not going to tell you that this movie is high art, but there is a lot to say for it.  It’s pretty enjoyable.  If you like X-men movies, go see it! If you’re indifferent, live in your ennui!

Spoiler Alert, sort of, since he was in all the advertising.

Yeah, Hugh Jackman shows up.  He doesn’t even have a line, nor is he in frame with more than like two other characters.  So, if you’ve been wondering what happened to Wolverine since the last movie, that’s it!

If you’d like me to do a more full review of this movie later, please, leave a comment below.


3 thoughts on “X-Men 6 or 8 (or 9), Depending On How You Count Them

  1. I wouldn’t mind a review with spoilers since I doubt I’ll see the film in theaters. How was Olivia Munn as Psylocke? I’ve actually really enjoyed her as an actress since her stint on HBO’s THE NEWSROOM.


    1. She’s in the movie very little and has very little motivation. It’s unfortunate, because I like her too. If you’d like to see a great movie with her in it, you should watch Magic Mike. Magic Mike is awesome.


      1. I saw MAGIC MIKE in the theater, opening night, with Anthony, his then-wife, and some other friends. It was full of women who were all wearing scented body lotion, so it was easily the best-smelling theater I’ve ever been in. 😛


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