Now That I Have Offended Everyone

I saw Star Trek: Beyond this week.

It was pretty good.  It had some action, some adventure, and a decent mystery.  I enjoyed parts of it a lot, and some of it was dumb!  It was a movie!

If you like Star Trek

I bet you liked this one more than the other new 2009 reboot movies.  I know I did.

But why?  Why was this one significantly better?  Was it because it was directed better?

No.  It was pretty identical to the former movies.  It was the same kind of space action movie that they’ve done twice.  Though, I do love me some Justin Lin.

Was it because of the humor?

Yes.  There is a big part of me that thinks that this one was significantly funnier than the other ones.  I don’t know if that is because Simon Pegg is actually a funny person and understands the material, or if Lin does a better job with actors, but it was pretty amazing how much funnier it was to me.

Was it because of Sulu being gay?

No.  It’s barely in the movie and barely a point.

Was it because Karl Urban is awesome?

Yes.  Of course yes.  Karl Urban is in full beast mode for this one.  He’s doing his Deforrest Kelly impression still, but because he is Karl Urban, Dread himself, it comes off as charming, just like in the other ones.  He is constantly paired with Spock as well, which makes their scenes crackle a lot more.  I almost cared about Spock!

If you don’t like Star Trek

You’ll continue to not really enjoy this reboot. It’s sort of bland, although, it is better written than the other movies.  The instant you walk out of the theater, you’ll start forgetting the plot. To refresh your memory.

Idris Elba in lots of makeup had brought the Enterprise to his base using convoluted means. He is pissed, and starts trying to get a thing to kill all the other people.  Whee!

It’s another revenge plot, which is weird, because the best part of Star Trek was actually the encounters with people who had different lifestyles and different priorities. Instead of doing some sort of exploration plot, encountering something that they didn’t understand, and attempting to come to terms with that.  Or go back in time and get some whales.  Or do something weird.  No, we need to have revenge!

Maybe I’m not being fair

I probably am not.  I want to have interesting sci-fi movies.  I really like people being confronted with interesting ideas.  Every time one of these movies comes out, I enjoy it for about 10 minutes, then I start forgetting about it.  I really want to have a bigger twist, or a bigger reveal at the end.

So, Simon Pegg, I know you’re reading this, try that next time, you did a great job with this first draft, now take a risk!

PS: The Title Of This Review Is

Designed to piss off fans, and also be a funny weird pun about the movie.

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